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| --- | --- | --- 25th of January, 1974| _Leave for Athens, Greece_| _Andreas Samsas_ I've spent the last eight months on the move. The scenery has changed, but one thing has remained the same: I was a stranger in a strange land. I had my eyes open but my mouth was sealed. I couldn't speak. And I could not write. I had to travel with a person who is a better publicist than I am. I didn't know what the Greeks were like. And I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was that I had to leave the past behind. But that's what I've done. I have left the past behind. The past is the land of shadows and ghosts. It's where there is no hope and nowhere to run. The future is an open space. I'm on my own. I'm free. I know what I have to do. The future is ahead. I'll walk towards it. I have no choice. But there is no need to go so fast that I lose sight of the past and forget what I've learned. I have to start again. I will start again. _Amsterdam, April, 1975_| _Andreas Samsas_ --- | --- I never had any illusions about staying in the Philippines, but I did have one, and that was that I'd finish my work and then go back to my life and the people I love. A lot has happened since then, but I'd like to take a moment to look back and give some background to what I've written. I spent a lot of time living in the Philippines. I tried to settle, but it was no use. I'd been running away from myself for so long that I couldn't bear the thought of having to leave the country and face the reality of who I was and what I wanted. It was a nightmare of one's own making. It was my life that was full of problems and misfortunes. It was my life that was haunted by a series of ghosts: the four faces of evil: murder, hatred, jealousy, and greed. It was my life that was full of the impossible. I'd spent so much time wrestling with ghosts that I'd lost the fear of evil. And I didn't know what to do. But I'd learned so much. There
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